Kiss
Puke
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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