I think I am morally bankrupt
i think i have two assholes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize