I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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