If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
