Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
