Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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