We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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