oh god the rape fog is back!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
