just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize