i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
