i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
