I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
