Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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