i permit you to call me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
