we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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