This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize
