i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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