You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
