there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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