where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just invented taco cereal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
