Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
