is your mom at the bar?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
