found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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