Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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