I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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