Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
