i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
