I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize