Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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