OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
