I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
