Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize