Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
