Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
