Buhtt sex?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
