im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
