A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Pappa wants mamma naked
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
