I'm jealous of your bromance
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
