Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
