the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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