I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
