just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
