if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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