Christians are straight up FREAKS
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
