walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
