I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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