That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
