One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
