But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
