I'm going to jail i love you
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
