My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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