carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
