I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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