Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
