The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
