Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
