As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
