she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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