He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love having hate sex.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
