Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
